Welcome to my poetry blog!

I am a twenty-four brown-eyed Aruban wanderer;
forever questioning where I'm going
and where I've been.
And when I'm not reading,
I'm writing. When I'm not writing, I'm reading.

Furthermore, writing has always been my
way of captivating a deep thought, grief,
lost love, depression and even hatred (sometimes).

Feel free to read and comment on my weird,
puzzling, obsessive, reckless and sometimes
confusing poems. It's all about what you
interpret from them that gets me buzzin'!

Thank you and have fun reading y'all.

-Lily Clarisa

Monday, June 27, 2011

No rusty old cage

No rusty old cage
One flake of sand, meant for every hand.
Forever and more will you be my bore?
Lasting words which we use to hurt, wouldn’t and shouldn’t we rather flirt?
Our biggest pothole has been bumped and hit.
Be there for me when I need you more and least, when we will then fit.
The years will go by and in old age; we will look back without any mistakes and not feel as though
we’ve been entrapped in a rusty old cage.


Would you love a piece of me?
Hold the garment, let me be!
Say what you have to say, -closed deafness-
Won’t say anything!

So say what you have to say make a point not a statement.

Replacing the old me,
Would be like turning the other side of the coin.
When happiness turns into cold whispers (trust me),
Hide from reality…    m                              e       Reality!
Run, crawl…                        m              e                         Bleeding away!
Speak…                                      me                                  Are you there?
Whisper…                                                                      Help me be!
Mumbling…                                                                Sane for thee?
To you the words…                                            The words?                          
                                      I                              love

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Inspired sigh

Inspired sigh
Harsh words; the more, the stronger you’ll get.
Bravery doesn’t come in a battle; luck does,
to which you've made it alive but dead inside.
Love speeches inspire art.
Dictators try to rule; overruled by rules.
Last world- - confused people. Struggle, it’s this!
My page, I’m stuck in this chapter. How will it end?
Will it end? Today?
Our ambitions turn to dreams;
our goals into miracles.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Two turtle doves

Whenever I see your face,
you fill me up with pride.
Knowing that I've found my place
which is right by your side.

One day, you know what we shall find?
two turtle doves cuddling in a tree;
which will give us peace of mind,
knowing that our love is meant to be.

But until that wonderful day,
that day when they shall appear.
Remember that in my head I already say;
my love for you knows no end.

*This is the first poem my then-boyfriend, now fiance, Chris sent. Edited by me*

Sunday, June 12, 2011


It could never be dark,
If you left your mark.
I could never be sad or mad,
If your accent went like ‘rad’ or ‘lad’.
The light would always shine,
If you could always be mine.
The key on your back,
My love it won’t lack.
Your key won’t get hard as a rock,
Only would go softly into my lock.

The world is hurting

The world is hurting
If the world was alone,
Would it have the moon to loan?
Would it , could it be crying of the burn?
Could we, would we ever learn?
It aches.
Its lakes, flakes;
its loneliness,
it showed its frailness. 
Let them know!
It would show.
Global warming,
the world is mourning.
Hurricanes, streams-
Children’s screams!
The world is hurting,
while we were destroying, ‘’the world is ours’’ we were once blurting.

Temptation test

Temptation test
This love for you is not confusing,
But the puddles are, but not really lasting;
‘’hold me’’, ‘’I won’t let you fall’’
‘’I love you’’, ‘’Your hex can make me stall’',
Afraid to betray you or to even lose,
Like in a waiting room, my love on it I fuse.
I feel the need of desperation;
don’t need the need of competition.
He’s making me ache,
on the feeling that I know is fake.
You’re loving me blind.
My tears you can’t find.

I’m not alone;
your sweetness of our picture of being poor.
I knew I only loved you for you.
To me this was like my test from me to you,
Because I always had struggles with temptation,
Now I’m sure my past could never compare to this sensation.

Sick school

Sick school
I feel ill...
must finish drama portfolio...
must finish...
school... bed... school... bed...

must finish headache, need to hand in headache...


I feel so sexy,
In my bra tagged Maxy.
I feel like conquering boys,
Flirt, smile, wink to get ‘toys’,
Curly hair, belly flat.
Drooling guy, ‘’wanna touch?’’, such a rat!
Cigar smells, black label lips.
‘’Hex me’’, he said and almost slips.
But I’m not theirs,
Not even the ones with high reputations or those long black hairs,
My attraction wouldn’t ever compare to his,
He’s hot, funny, kind, nice, talented, fucking happy for I am his miss,
To me, my attraction next to him is lower.
I don’t care, he is mine and he is sober!

Romanticizing it

Romanticizing it
He came along one evening and swept me off my feet.
But then,
He placed me back on the ground,
And slapped reality to my face.

‘’There’s nothing in the world but us and our love.’’
‘’There’s nothing in the world but everything else but us.’’

As I stared into his eyes,
Wondering, what had changed him…?
I realized it wasn’t him.
It was me.
Romanticizing everything, once again.

Uh, sigh…
Romance seems dead in reality and only alive in movies and books…
Romance…Where art thou?

Pregnant War

Pregnant War
A heart shaped kiss,
In a world gone bliss.

I hold thy hand,
Walk with me in sand.
Glowing, howling, deceivers of hate.
Such powers were too late,
Mistreated, naked and bruised.

You said no when they made you choose.
Your heart grew cold,
When your soul was sold.
Cold how? Your body numb.
Oh no… They gave you some.
Dead. Left here so beautiful, powerful.
Careless now.
Loneliness how?
He left your body but took your soul.
For he thought somehow to make you once more whole.

Ordinary = dull

Ordinary = dull
Ache pain, she lays again…
Drunk, cut, it got so plain.
World around just so day-by-day,
The same she hates, she’s more like run-in-rain.
Now rum and whiskey, her only fun.
Sunlight, darkness, sunlight, darkness, she had to run.
Where there’s only colors and unexpected adrenaline.
Cartoons, nightmares and monsters with flowers, my best friend the Pelican.
Never to sleep, never to yawn,
Never to weep, never to frown.

My periods!

My periods!
Belly kills,
There are no thrills,
In periods from hell!
I wish I could sell,
I’d trade it in,
Even for a sin.
This pain has to go,
Or at least flow.
Laughter hurts more,
My hands and knees grow sore.
Walking just another train wreck.
Hoping, waiting till 14:15 so I can hit the sack.
Bad test has been done,
Bad grades that’s no fun.
Even after the period, dreaming of Hyatt.
Those grades would still be a riot.
But at least I’ll have my old self back,
Being happy dressed in black.

Mrs. Rollen Millow

Mrs. Rolen Millow
Curses the cuts,
Heals your lust and lots,
Feeds your heart,
That’s its art,
Sweeps your heart’s dusts.

Forgetting, forgiving a true must,
Roses for aches,
Ounces and thousands in lakes,
Where her body streams,
All her wishes for love it seems…

She streams and streams till one day she found her,
So now she is whole,
For that was her goal.
She found her pieces which were stolen,
In the hand of one called Rolen.

For then and on
Her smile, her fun.
Her heart, her pillow.
Forever and more, Mrs. Rollen Millow.


Waiting for something you’ve lusted for a month,
Would it be what you’ve expected or would it not be worth the hunt?

Love meeting

Love meeting
Wasted broken heart of mine,
For a long period of time, lonely and hard as pine.
Mistreated by all the wrong kinds of ‘love’.
My love ached for someone’s love like a beautiful white searching dove.
Thousand looks at your picture and my heart was set.
Remembering your hug that day that we met.
Next day we talked,
with a girl on your lap you just said ‘hi’, disappointed I walked.
I tried to get in your mind,
left my true feelings for you to find.
Waited for you to make a comment;
I still like you now, that’s what it meant.
Started talking, I liked you more.
At first I felt so naked and poor.
Now you’re my cover and pillow to keep me warm.
I loved your glasses b'cause of  its shape and form.
Liked the way you put your hand up when you said hi.
First day we really talked I screamed to your car, bye!
First kiss with a joke of proof that you’re not gay.
Beating heart felt so good as I lay.
You made my heart beat stronger,
Every day we spent with each other, wished I had you for longer.
Laughing and jokes, my happiness; now it glows!
Your kindness of heart, oh, it shows!
A story of ours, this is,
Which no one knows how it’ll end; heartbreaks or a sweet kiss.
Presently, my shadows, my dream, your voice the highlight of my day.
To hug you, to hold you and kiss you, ‘I love you’, I'll say.


What would be pain,
Without the rain?

What would be black,
If no one would slack?

What would be being poor,
Without the urge of wanting more?

What would be trust,
If he grabs you without any lust?

Who would hold my hand,
When my wishes are so grand?

What would be hate?
If it was redeemed and faced too late?

Hate feeling

Hate feeling
Hate- it’s what I feel hearing, being here with them.
Tormented, out casted by my own shared understanding and belief.
But it’s okay. Why be quiet? Why be still?
When you have your own thoughts, ideas, mind!
I’ll say this again and again and mean it!!

Holding on to you

Holding on to you
In the many ways that I love you now,
Quitting you, I wouldn’t know how!
Days, months, years.
Will you be with me to confess my life’s fears?
Happiness, joy, tears for you?
Not without you!

Global taboo

Global Taboo
What would be so tragic for a man to love another man?
Why won’t society understand the love between black and white?
Why doesn’t the fact of judging someone just by their status, sex, religion, color, body, opinion, and age cross our minds when they’ve kind you with their love? Heart? Soul?
How selfish are you to love the idea of possession, slavery, under your own brothers and sisters?
The same flesh, the same birth?
How mean are you to take away more than you can comprehend from the poor? The needy? The misunderstood?
Why can’t the young ever look through the true eyes of the old?

Foolish stupid boy!

Foolish stupid boy!
If ink was forever,
Why would you say whatever?
The pain in art,
Couldn’t compare to your burrito’s fart.
To play the games,
Is to compare the same.
To run the miles,
To wear the styles.
To be born with gold,
Makes people old.
Sweetest songs,
Reminds rugged teenagers of smoking through their bongs.

Dissed, lied to

Dissed, lied to
Friend walks by,
Not even saying hi.
When they hug you,
They don’t really give a fuck about you!
I wonder if they would want to kill me,
Or pretend to like me and send a happy e-mail to me.
Throughout the day I walk side by side with lies.
Discriminated, judged by my style.
The world is not fair,
Shown with such disgusted glare.

Far from home

Far from home
They took us away,
Taught us their ways,
We stumbled upon so many things,
Neglected, abused, harmed, mistreated.

My old friends ran away whilst I stayed behind,
Neglected, abused, harmed, mistreated.

I saw my reflection in the mirror,
Horror struck,
My eyes were green,
My nose was small,
My hair was sleek and a shade of very light brown,
I slapped my face to wake myself up,
But the color of red on my cheeks was all I could see this time,
I punched the mirror to make that face go away,
But all I could see was the brown blood running down my hand,

Their blood.